We’ve all been there. You blink, and suddenly it’s the end of the month. You’re looking at your planner, your bank account, and your “Must-Do” list, and nothing seems to be done. Whether it’s the end of a long month or the final days of December, that sinking feeling that you’ve just been existing rather than evolving is a heavy one. You have to be honest with yourself, and began realistic goal setting.
And I’m not just being dramatic. Did you know that 92% of people don’t actually follow through on their New Year’s resolutions? 92 percent! That means the vast majority of us are out here setting intentions that eventually just become “should-haves” and “could-haves.”
We want to be able to dream big, but we often get lost in the gap between the dream and the reality. On the latest episode of the Young Black MRS podcast, I’m breaking down how I’ve bridged that gap and why realistic goal setting is the only way to move from feeling unaccomplished to feeling empowered.
1. Make Realistic Goals
When we dream, we usually jump straight to the vision board finale. We see the finished product, not the process. I’ve been feeling this deeply lately as I’ve started my journey to learn the piano.
If I told myself, “I’m going to be the next Alicia Keys by June,” I’d be setting myself up for that 92% failure rate. Why? Because I only have 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week—just like you. Between being a mom, working full-time and seasonally, and being a wife, my time is a precious resource.
Realistic goal setting means acknowledging our capacity. Instead of “playing a concert,” my goal is the fundamentals:
- The Notes: Actually knowing what I’m looking at.
- The Fingering: Training my hands to move with intention.
- The One-Handed Win: Mastering a song with one hand before I try with two.
2. Have an Accountability Partner
Here is a truth bomb: when you keep your goals to yourself, it’s easy to let them slide because nobody is there to ask, “Hey, how’s that piano practice going?” To stay out of that failure bracket, you need an accountability partner.
For me, part of realistic goal setting is taking advantage of the resources I already have—like the personal health coach I accessed through my insurance. Having someone to check in with, share my progress, and troubleshoot my roadblocks has been a total game-changer.
If you don’t have a coach, look for:
- Digital Communities: Facebook groups with people who share your specific interest.
- Your Inner Circle: Asking a family member or your spouse to hold space for you.
3. Create an Action Plan
Finally, you need an action plan. These are the small, strategic steps that build toward your overarching dream. Think of them as the rungs on a ladder; you can’t reach the top without stepping on the bottom ones first.
I used this exact method when I wanted to expand my community. Making new friends as an adult can feel daunting, so I had to be intentional:
- Step 1: I reached out to old friends I’d lost touch with.
- Step 2: I moved from texting to meeting up in person.
- Step 3: I joined Mommy groups to find women in a similar headspace and build a consistent village.
From Unaccomplished to Empowered
We have 24 hours in a day, and while we can’t make more time, we can make more impact with the time we have.
When you dream big you must prioritize realistic goal setting, find an accountability partner, and execute an action plan, you won’t look at the end of the month with regret. You’ll look at it with pride, knowing you were the architect of your own growth.
Now, go out there and dream big—but plan bigger.